Yesterday we celebrated my daughter's birthday. Daevy…

Daevy would have turned 20 yesterday. And that was a very special day.

For …. God is indeed still fulfilling the plans he had for her life.

WATCH OUT FOR THIS MIRACLE!!!

My daughter Daevy was a child with PMLD.

(Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities - PMLD )

She could not talk, sit up by herself, walk, or eat. But what she could do was enjoy life immensely and laugh beautifully.

And she was very good at making it clear that she wanted our attention. And as soon as she had our attention, she showed that she thoroughly enjoyed our presence.

During her life, I regularly asked God why human bodies are so ingeniously constructed, why her body was not perfect, and what the purpose of her life was.

A month before her death, God let me know that in His eyes, Daevy was indeed perfect.

The goal of Daevy's life was, after all, to show the world that we need each other. And that needing each other creates connection.

She needed me in everything, and because she was so dependent on me, she was so closely connected to me and her caregivers, that we could understand her without words. There were words, indeed, but they were not spoken.

The goal of her life was therefore;

• Showing how we need each other to be connected

• How God wants us to see that we need Him, and that He wants to have a connection with us, because He loves us.

• Her name means 'Beloved'. The goal of her life was to love and be loved.

A week and a half ago, my friend from Germany suddenly said that she wanted to come and stay for one night with her son, because her son was on Easter holidays, her husband had to go to Amsterdam for work and then to Oberhausen, and she would take time off so that the three of them could travel together and spend another two days on holiday in Oberhausen. She let me know that, provided it suited me, she would come on Tuesday, March 31st, and would be picked up again at the end of the day on Wednesday.

She didn't realize at that moment that Wednesday, April 1st, was my daughter's birthday.

Last weekend, her mother suddenly found Daevy's death notice and showed it to my friend. And only when she saw the card did she realize that she would be with me on Daevy's birthday.

What is so special about this April 1st in 2026?

This April 1st would be her 20th birthday.

And when I was 20, I went to America as an Au Pair.

I went to America because I felt lonely and no longer felt at home in the Netherlands, and I was seeking connection and wanted to discover the world.

And this friend, Juliane, was the first person I connected with in America, and with whom I am still connected to this day. (Even now, as I write this, I only just realize that.)

And God Himself had sent her to me on this 20th birthday of my daughter. To connect with me, to remember this extraordinary and special girl together and to celebrate her life.

The most beautiful part of celebrating birthdays is remembering the loved one with others who knew her.

And in my daughter's case, it wasn't that easy to get to know her. A lot of people felt a barrier to getting close to her and treating her like any other child. So there aren't that many people who really knew her the way I knew her.

And my Au Pair friends saw her about one family weekend a year, but they were just like me, crazy about children, so they could connect with my daughter more easily.

On Tuesday evening, Juliane told me that her little son had asked about my children, and then she told everything about my children, and so about Daevy as well.

One thing she told her son (8 years old) touched me, and I had never thought of it myself.

She said; Daevy looked like her mom, She always wanted to be around other people. She never wanted to be alone.

WOW!

I could be offended very easily. We often say that when someone can't be alone, it's a bad thing. 'Aah, you can't be alone.'

But I am perfectly fine being alone. My daughter couldn't do that because of her disability.

And yet, what my girlfriend said was true.

Yes, we are both people who value connection. We can be alone, but we don't want to be alone.

We prefer to always be together, with people we can connect with.

If I am in a group where there is no real connection, I don't need to be there. And my daughter also let me know when she missed the real connection in a group.

Daevy is named after King David, the David who defeated the giant Goliath.

And David means 'Beloved'

So God's plan for Daevy's life was; loving and connecting, spending time together, my language of love.

And even after Daevy's passing, God himself still provides that connection.

The four of us went to her grave together, brought flowers as a sign of new life, discovered that the row number of her grave was also 20, and spent the rest of the day thoroughly enjoying the beautiful sunshine. As if she herself were with us.

AGAPE 4 LIFE | love | connect | heal | restore | grow | train | develop